2011 Oscars

We’re in “awards season” here in the USA and so far I am disappointed. We had the Golden Globes where The Social Network won Best Picture, Natalie Portman won Best Actress for Black Swan, and Christian Bale won Best Supporting Actor for playing a crackhead. I liked the film and both performances but really, none was award worthy given the other options.

Then we had the Grammys where I wasn’t offended by any performance and thus not impressed. I was hoping for something that would have created a buzz on the news for a week: Sarah Palin tweeting about Rihanna’s “S & M“, professional shithead Michelle Malkin appearing on Fox and Friends ranting about how Lady Gaga is something like “the embodiment of the downfall of the Judaeo-Christian ethic”, Sean Hannity talking about “values”, and all the usual bullshit. The music industry didn’t give the professional right wing anything to bite on. So disappointing! Where’s  Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” when you need it? Anyway, onto the movies.

The Best Picture for nominees for 2010 are:
Black Swan
The Fighter
Inception
The Kids Are All Right
The King’s Speech
127 Hours
The Social Network
Toy Story 3
True Grit
Winter’s Bone

Let’s make a few observations about them and then go into MY movie picks.

First “Black Swan” was a very over rated movie as was The Social Network. The Hollywood industry loves Darren Aronofsky because of his previous films “Requiem for a Dream” and “The Wrestler” and the bogus lesbian scene turned out to create a Facebook buzz with teenagers. I always liked Natalie Portman but when one hears people talking about her “great” performance, you just have to say “please!” How many people have played high quality nut jobs over the years?  Of course, who’s up against her for the award? So she’s pretty much a “given” for the actress award.

“The Fighter” was an excellent film BUT the “B0ston Irish” act is wearing a bit thin: we had “Mystic River”, “The Departed”, “The Town”, and now this one. It is a city that has Harvard, Fidelity Investments, and produced John F. Kennedy and Peter Lynch but Hollywood will give you the impression that it just produces “Irish tough guys” who talk funny and are employed in rackets. Yeah, I know the film took place in Worcester: SAME SHIT.

“Inception” was an excellent “psycho-thriller” but given the time of year it came out in the theaters it doesn’t have a prayer of winning. Had it been shot in 3D, it might have had a chance. “True Grit” and “The King’s Speech” are, in my book, the best of the lot. Either would be a fine film for the Academy to dub “Best Picture”. As for the other films, though “Toy Story 3” made a bundle of dough, it’s still a kiddie movie and thus no chance and the rest well, can you name more than 3 people that actually saw the films? “Blue Valentine” looked like a bore in its trailer.

Now the movies that made my 2010 trips to the movies worthwhile we can call them the “honorable mentions”.

Machete: this was a masterpiece of a film. Come on! The cell phone secreted away in a woman’s very personal hiding place? Cheech getting crucified? Michelel Rodriguez with the eye patch?  Mexicans fighting using gardening tools? GENIUS!

Piranha 3D: high quality turd of a film and done in 3D just to earn extra bucks. Genius. Ving Rhames with the outboard motor and the panic scene? The penis being eaten with 3D+ T & A? Clearly “art cinema” and Oscar worthy.

Hot Tub Time Machine: low brow comedy that appealed to film buffs lowest common denominator–vomit humor. When I told my students that I saw it over the weekend they said, and I quote,  “You actually saw that?”. My answer was “yes and I thought it ws great”. Perhaps you can read into this cinematic wonder as an allegory for redemption. 

Easy A: A modern, more sophisticated version of those shitty 1980s John  Hughes “coming of age” pictures liberally based on the Scarlet Letter. I went to see for the only reason that there was nothing else to see that weekend and genuinely enjoyed the film. I also thought Emma Stone is definitely going to become quite a film star: a sober Lindsay Lohan. 

The Other Guys: “the sound of your piss hitting the urinal sounds feminine”: THAT is what one calls DIALOGUE. The scene with the Securitie & Exchange Commission officer is arguably the wittiest of the year.
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Faster: Yet another allegory for redemption and forgiveness. Yes, us theologians like to read into Hollywood junk whenever possible. This was “quality crap” of out the Hollywood factory. A few scenes you just had to love: like Dwayne Johnson shooting a telemarketing guy in the head. How many times did we wish we can do that?  Even the audience all said “oh!”. 

Finally, my WORST movie of the year. That is hands down Ben Stiller as “Greenburg”. The character was just annoying and you hope he died (he didn’t). Not a single fucking redeeming quality for the movie. If I ever seen Ben Stiller on the street in Manhattan I’m going to ask him for my $12.50 or just aim my right elbow at the bridge of his nose.  I may just boycott any new movie he makes now. The film was THAT bad.

Anyway, 2010 had some excellent movies and I look forward to the remainder of 2011: I’ve already viewed “The Rite” (B-movie, exorcism genre fare) and “Unknown” (garden vaireity thriller). So far, so good. 🙂 Oscar nite I’ll be on Facebook and Twitter delivering my commentary. Hope to see you then!